Instructions to avoid spontaneous combustion

Breathe in. Breathe out. Unknot entanglement in stomach. Breathe more. Close eyes.

England countdown and checklist

T minus 16 days until I go to England. I seriously could not be more excited. I find myself in a constant state of planning/fretting. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love to make checklists, organize, schedule, etc. So really, even though I'm living in a constant state of panic right now, like folks eating their Quarter Pounder with cheese from McDonald's, I'm lovin' it. I knew going into this it was going to be a daunting, time-consuming experience. I keep worrying that I'm going to get to the airport and realize I've left something essential behind: the good ol' passport, my money, my sanity. Oh well.

I've already begun packing (go figure). Checklist so far:
-One suitcase large enough to hide away a small village.
-Gifts for my host families.
-Rotary banners and other Rotary paraphernalia, (I love that word.)
-My team uniforms. (Yes, we have to wear a uniform. Isn't that cute?)
-Essentials like razors and deoderant (Shoot, a girl wants to look and smell good, ok??)
-A little back dress.
-Enough Cherry flavored chap stick to last me until the end of time. Or at least for the month I'll be gone.

Some words of wisdom

Nevermind. I don't have any.

Recap of my weekend in Raleigh

-Two whole days in the big red house with the fam in Raleigh = much needed.
-Purchased everything I could possibly need for my trip to England, cleaning out Target and Old Navy. I hope their restockers come quickly.
-Still love mom's French toast.
-My sister kicks butt.
-Lessons learned from going to a free concert downtown with my sister: Remember where you park the car. That info will come in extremely handy later. And yes, even Raleigh has rednecks. Squeezed into Morris Square with about 9,472 of them. I had the dirty flip flop feet to prove it.
-I love Krispy Kreme almost more than life itself. So wish we had one here.
-Visiting my sister's dorm makes me wish I was in college again. Sort of.

Under pressure

Do this, do that. Go here, go there. Say the right things. Play the part. No pressure. Everyone's watching, and everyone's waiting. For you to succeed or for you to fail. For you to excel or blow it. So much riding on every single move. So much, so much, so much...

Woke up with a song in my head

I literally woke up humming a song this morning -- a powerful one we sing once in a while at church called "Come to Jesus." It's amazing and inspiring, and it was a wonderful song to have in my head first thing this morning.

I think it was the Lord's way of telling me it was time to get back to my morning runs. I hadn't run in two or three weeks for a variety of reasons: numerous morning and night commitments, crazy weekends, a cold. But this morning I woke up at just the time I like to wake up in order to go for a run before work. And that song was in my head. So I listened. And I ran.

And by the end of my run, the sun was coming up, a brillant shade of pink in the sky, and I could so easily see the Lord's beauty all around me.

Stuck in my head

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me; this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior’s always there for me
My God, He was; my God, He is
My God is always gonna be

Yes, living, dying, let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring;
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

Keys

The following are time-tested and reporter-approved keys to making it through horrendously boring meetings:
-Make sure there's food. Curing those hunger pangs while simultaneously being able to enjoy the bliss of everyone shutting up for a bit is unbeatable.
-Bring reinforcements. My typical cache consists of water, coffee, candy, gum, cell phone in case you get a chance to send "save me!" text messages.
-Envision everyone's naked. No wait, that's for another situation.
-Practice typing really fast. The looks of disdain are worth it.
-Perfect the art of hair twirling.
-Make your weekly to-do list in your mind.
-Daydream.
-Decide who of the meeting attendees would win in a cage match.
-Decide who's the biggest partier of the bunch.
-Create life scenarios for everyone. ... i.e. Louisa is probably a crazy cat lady and lives in a house with secret mazes ...
-Laugh at everything everyone says.

Contentment

I'm following the yellow brick road from a ramshackle existence to a storybook of pop-up pages filled with exciting twists and turns. Meet you at the other side?

I can tell I'm growing up and embracing adulthood when I can say with conviction how much I'm truly beginninng to love life's unpredictability. It's so uncertain, so topsy turvy. It's really pretty fabulous. As Forrest says, you never know what you're gonna get. Might be a piece of bitter dark chocolate. Might be the tongue-tinglingest milk choclate you've ever tasted. That's pretty freakin sweet.

Song du jour

My favorite song right now. Coldplay's Viva La Vida. Listen to it. Love it. I do.


I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sweep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing:
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never, never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world
(Ohhh)

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become

Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?

I hear Jerusalem bells a ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter will call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world
(Ohhhhh Ohhh Ohhh)

Away, away, away

Apologies (to anyone who actually reads this) for being so negligent in updating. Part of my excuse is spending a weekend away in the mountains, disconnected from technology, disconnected from the world. Pure, unadulterated bliss. I want to go back.

Must-haves

To keep me going on a daily bases, I need:
-lots and lots of water
-constant access to my cell phone
-words of affirmation
-to laugh on multiple occassions
-caffiene
-chap stick
-Internet
-snacks from the snack drawer
-more water
-to update my yellow sticky notes multiple times
-to listen to some good tunes
-and my usual dose of Facebooking

Pretty standard, n'est pas?

And so it goes

I feel a lump in my throat, a hesitance in my speech. I feel tightening in my chest. I feel heaviness upon my shoulders. I feel a sense of dread course through me. Simultaneously, a sense of confusion, of unknowing, of apprehension, of wistfulness.

Why?