When it comes down to it, I'm the world's most selfish person

I want material things. More shoes. Better clothes. I can't seem to amass enough jeans and heels and and dresses to be satisfied. I fall for the trap of obsessing over name brands. I'm kidding no one; I'm a label whore.

I want to be a better person. Someone you'll like, someone you'll trust, someone you'll turn to. Someone you admire.

I want to get over my insecurities. I want to walk tall, chin up with confidence. I want to be void of all doubts.

I want to be more giving, more altruistic. A better Christian, a better giver of time and resources.

I want the excellent job with the big paycheck. I want the name recognition and the monetary reward.

I want you to think I'm beautiful.

I want to be a mother. I want a housefull of children. I want to be at least a fraction of how good a mother my mother was.

I want it all.

Words of wisdom

Make sure you have all necessary ingredients before embarking on a cooking endeavor.

Laugh. All the time.

Question everything. Some of the time.

Know your audience.

Never decline ice cream. Or a game of Scrabble.

Cherish it all.

I'm thankful...

For family that knows me inside and out and loves me just the same.
For friends who put up with my bipolar, OCD, unstable, obnoxiously loud self.
For rain.
For homecooked meals.
For stories that get told over and over again and never get old.
For health.
For reruns of Friends.
For sweet tea.
For love stories.
For good books, especially ones with happy endings.
For the soundtrack of my life.
For photographs.
For assurance from you.
For life's never-ending surprises.
For movies I can recite by heart (Empire Records, anyone?).
For hope.

Thanksgiving's just around the corner!

What I'm looking forward to:
-Wednesday being the equivalent of Friday at work.
-Going to Raleigh to see my family.
-The super-duper fantastic traffic I'm sure to encounter on I-95. Kidding.
-Making the kick-ass mac and cheese I debuted this past weekend again.
-Laughing with my mother and sister the way only the three of us can -- loudly, frenetically, impulsively, without reason, spontaneously.
-My mom's awesome food.
-Everything else that goes along with Thanksgiving.

Revisiting teenage-dom

When I was a teenager, I let my fear of what others thought get the best of me. I was never cool by anyone’s standards, and I tried desperately to simply not draw attention to myself. I wanted to fly under the radar, unnoticed. I would never have done what I did last night.

Though I’m 25 years old, I let my inner teenager claw its way out from where it had been tucked away for nearly a decade. I donned a hand-painted T-shirt with the words “I love Edward” scrawled across the front and joined some of my favorite people for a midnight showing of teen flick “Twilight” at the cinema. And I had the time of my life, surrounded by giggling, squealing, swooning adolescents and watching ooey-gooey teen love at its finest on the silver screen.

Author Stephanie Meyer has penned four books in the “Twilight” series, and I’ve bought into her vampire/human/werewolf melodrama/romance novels hook, line and sinker. Not the most intellectually-stimulating of reading material, there’s just something raw about them that’s made them my guiltiest of pleasures. Who doesn’t love a good romance? And add the excitement of deadly vampires and werewolves into the mix, and you’ve got a recipe for success.

Earlier in the week, I purchased plain white T-shirts, paint and stencils, and I set to work. I unabashedly graffitied them with phrases like “Team Edward,” “Bella Who?” and “#1 Cullen Fan.”

Daily I browsed fan Web sites and the author’s blog. I repeatedly watched trailers for the film. I downloaded the soundtrack on iTunes and listened over and over again. I fed myself with all things “Twilight;” I figure it’s healthy for everyone to indulge in a little frivolity now and again.

And as my best friend and roommate is also a fan -- as are several coworkers, my mother and my sister – the excitement could be shared. By Thursday, I was ready to burst at the seams.

As someone with a steady “big girl” job, staying up late isn’t something I do very well anymore. So Thursday night, my roommate and I stuffed our faces with sugar and coffee. Then we pulled on our T-shirts over top of long-sleeved Ts and we met up with our girly gang.

I screamed and I danced and I yelped for joy when the moment arrived to go to the theater. Once there, we positioned ourselves amidst other “Twilight” fanatics and super-freaks.

And for two hours, I slipped away from real world problems, from work, from bigger issues, and I lusted over sexy Edward Cullen, and I allowed myself to be 15.

Lyrics of the day -- "Decode" by Paramore from the "Twilight" Soundtrack

How can I decide what’s right
When you’re clouding up my mind?
I can’t win your losing fight
All the time

Not gonna ever own what’s mine
When you’re always taking sides
But you won’t take away my pride
No, not this time
Not this time

How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know how

The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it’s hanging on your tongue
Just boiling in my blood
But you think that I can’t see
What kind of man that you are
If you’re a man at all
Well, I will figure this one out
On my own
(I’m screaming, “I love you so”)
On my own
(My thoughts you can’t decode)

How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well, yeah
How did we get here? Well, I think I know how
Do you see what we’ve done?
We’ve gone and made such fools
Of ourselves
Do you see what we’ve done?
We’ve gone and made such fools
Of ourselves

How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well, yeah, yeah
Well, How did we get here?
When i used to know you so well.
I think I know
I think I know

There is something I see in you
It might kill me
I want it to be true

SO pumped about Twilight!

I'm seriously worse than a starry-eyed, drama-filled teenager. I am SO excited about the premiere of Twilight. I have been furiously reading through the books in the series. I'm on the fourth one and don't know what on earth I'm going to do when I've finished. I'm so consumed with all things Edward and Bella and Jacob that returning to reality is going to prove difficult.

Last week, I proudly purchased tickets to Thursday's midnight showing. Working at a newspaper sometimes has its perks; I learned we were about to run an ad announcing the midnight showing and I hurriedly made my way over to the box office. This is how big a dork I am (as if anyone had any doubt) -- the gal informed me I was the first person to buy any of these tickets. Niiiice.

Stuff to look forward to

Another day, another chance to do something wild and wonderful.

TWILIGHT midnight premiere at midnight Thursday. SO pumped.

A weekend with little in the way of plans.

Thanksgiving. Nothing beats time with family, stuffing yourself with yummy food and just vegging out.

The rest of the holiday season!

I love

The rain. When I get to listen to it. But not when I have to traipse through it.

Coffee. I need it all day, every day.

Weekend plans.

Can't wait, can't wait, can't wait

So, I know I'm a ginormous dork, but I am so stoked about the Twilight movie coming out in a week and a half I can hardly stand it. I am devouring the books in the Twilight series. I'm on book three of the four-book series, and I simply cannot get enough of Isabella Swan, Edward Cullen and the whole Cullen clan. LOVE it.

The movie is officially released Friday, Nov. 21, but I'm crossing my fingers I can get tix to the midnight Thurs./Fri. show.

Right now, I love:

Sugarland.
Scarves.
Bundling in general.
That I found the right words for once.
That Christmas commercials have started to air.
Flats.
England.
Uncertainty.
Making plans.

The calm AFTER the storm

Last week was unbelievably crazy. Election, election and more election coverage. Shooting follow-ups. A billion other things. Sigh...

Thank goodness for weekends. I feel like I can finally breathe again. Had a great weekend catching up with old friends and new friends, with trips to Columbia and Myrtle Beach.

This week is good and busy as well, but I'm looking forward to another fantastic weekend! Man, I live for the weekends these days. I love the people in my life that making working for the weekend so very worth it.

I got to cover events our president-elect attended over the past year

"I don't believe in 'I can't'"
Nov. 4, 2007

His voice boomed at all the right times. The crowd jumped to its feet in applause on cue. And though perhaps a small crowd in comparison to some he’s stood before on the campaign trail, the thousand or so gathered in the gymnasium at Morris College for the Sumter NAACP 24th Annual Freedom Fund banquet Friday night to hear keynote speaker U.S. Sen. Barack Obama clearly liked what they heard from the presidential candidate.

The Sumter event, sandwiched between those in Manning and Greenville, left little time for Obama in the Gamecock City. But during his 45-minute address, Obama promised if elected president in 2008 that he would continue to fight for civil rights; would fix an education system that he said isn’t being corrected with the federal No Child Left Behind Act; would make quality health care more accessible to everyone; and would bring an end to the war in Iraq.

And he made clear to those in attendance that he’s in it to win it, stating outright that he isn’t interested in a vice presidency.

Obama said his political journey began as a young man in a quest to help the poor and the struggling, the ones who couldn’t help themselves. He said after earning his law degree from Harvard, he became a civil rights attorney because of the good he hoped to accomplish on that front rather than seeking to practice law in another venue that might have proven more lucrative.

He said that standing on the steps of the Clarendon County Courthouse earlier in the day in the same spot where others stood so many years ago in the early civil rights fight when the Briggs v. Elliott case [--] a predecessor to Brown v. Board of Education [--] came to life reminded him of why he got into politics.

“The problem isn’t that we haven’t made progress,” he said. “The problem is that better isn’t good enough.”

He said as long as there continues to be “Jena justice” and “Scooter Libby justice,” the Civil Rights Movement isn’t over.

He also said his firsthand experience with how unfair and consuming health care and insurance can be has acted as an impetus for him to seek change. As his mother was battling cancer in the 1990s, instead of enjoying the last days until her death, she was busy filling out paperwork and worrying about whether she was covered, he said.
“I know what it’s like to see a loved one suffer.”

And Obama reminded the crowd that he voted against the bill in 2002 that initially gave President George W. Bush the authority to begin a war in Iraq. He said to some, it was an unpopular decision. It was a time when Bush’s national support was about 65 percent.

“I know you all don’t remember; it seems like a long time ago,” he joked.
He said he chose to attend an antiwar rally despite warnings from some that it could damage his future political career.

“(And) I said, ’My political career is not worth me throwing away my integrity,’” he said.

Obama related that some estimates put the cost of the war at its end totaling nearly $2 trillion [--] “with a ’t’” [--] money he said could have been spent elsewhere.
“Think about what we could have done for school construction right here in Sumter,” he said.

Or, he suggested, the money could have gone toward Pell grants for students struggling to afford college.

“What happened to fiscal conservatism?” he asked. “What happened to our priorities?”
While making promises from the podium, Obama also asked Sumter residents to do their part. He encouraged families to set good examples for their children and to be vested in their education. He asked fathers to serve as role models for their sons.
Though he never said her name, he hinted that Hillary Clinton is not the answer for the Democratic ticket. And he headed off the perception that he might accept the second-in-command position instead.

“I’m not interested in being vice president,” he said. “I’m not interested in being secretary of something or other.”

He said throughout his life, he’s been told he couldn’t [--] that he couldn’t get into politics, that he couldn’t be among the first blacks in the U.S. Senate.
“I don’t believe in ’I can’t,’” he said.

“We can narrow that gap between what the world should be and what it is, but each of us has to do our part,” he said.

-------------------

"Fired up, ready to go"
Jan. 24, 2008

Before Illinois Sen. Barack Obama took the floor at the M.H. Newton Family Life Enrichment Center on Manning Avenue on Wednesday, the crowd of supporters that waited nearly three hours for the Democratic presidential candidate’s arrival kept itself energized by cheering, chanting, clapping and singing.

Those in attendance were there by way of e-tickets issued to supporters registered to Obama’s online mailing list. They filled seats early and broke the silence often chanting what’s become Obama’s campaign catch phrase: "fired up and ready to go" or cheering "2, 4, 6, 8, who do we appreciate? Obama!" They even changed the words to songs that played over loudspeakers; "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye" became "Obama, Obama, we’re ready in ’08."

Dr. Brenda Williams introduced Obama to the crowd of about 500 that included international media. "Who are we here for today?" she asked. "A man with standards." Williams said he stands for "honesty, truth, justice, family (and) he is a God-fearing man."

After Williams’ boisterous introduction, Obama emerged from a black curtain to the sounds of U2 booming through the center.

"I’m fired up now," he said. "Are you fired up, ready to go?"

Cameras flashed throughout the room as Obama instructed the standing crowd to have a seat.
Obama referenced his most recent visit to Sumter when he spoke at Morris College in November and said he was glad to be back. He thanked supporters in attendance who have campaigned for him in Sumter, including state Rep. David Weeks, D-Sumter, and former state Supreme Court Chief Justice Ernest Finney, as well as state Sen. Phil Leventis, D-Sumter, who was not in attendance.

He also expressed his gratitude to Williams. "The only problem with Dr. Williams, she’s a little shy," he joked. "She doesn’t like to speak up and let folks know what she’s thinking."

After warming up the crowd and getting it laughing, Obama had its attention for the remainder of his 50-minute speech.

A large banner hanging over a portion of the crowd proclaimed "Change we can believe in," and Obama, as he and his Democratic opponents have in recent months, focused on the idea of change. Change in diplomacy and war efforts, change in the health care system, change in education, change in the economy and change when it comes to the use of energy sources were all addressed.

He said the need for these changes is what made him decide to announce his candidacy almost a year ago.

"I decided to run because of what Dr. (Martin Luther) King referred to as the fierce urgency of now," he said.

Obama pledged to transform the United States into a country well-respected by and on better terms with the rest of the world. He promised to bring troops home from fighting in Iraq, a war he said never made sense.

He also told the crowd he wants a new health-care system, one that allows people to keep health-care plans they might already have and want to maintain but would make available health care for others to buy into affordably.

He referenced the federal No Child Left Behind Act, put into place by current president George Bush, and said he would bring about the changes to education that No Child Left Behind has not. He said he’d ensure higher salaries for teachers, newer school facilities and early childhood education available to all.

Despite the serious nature of the promises he made, he inserted moments of lighthearted banter throughout, including a chant from time to time with the crowd that regardless of the election outcome there’d be "No Bush, No Cheney."

"So whatever happens, no Bush," he said.

Obama requested the crowd’s support on Election Day.

"South Carolina, your vote really matters this time," he said.

Why I voted

Because I'm American.
Because I wanted to make a difference.
Because I believe somehow, some way that my vote counts, even if only infinitesimally.
Because I dare to have hope.
Because there are so many who can't.
Because I want to be able to bitch if things don't go my way.
Because it's my birthright.
Because you didn't.
Because I care.
Because I have two legs, a mind, a heart, fingers aching to hit the "Vote" button and a gut instinct that tells me I should.
Because I don't want you telling me what to do.
Because I can.

I voted! I have the sticker to prove it.

Tomorrow's Election Day!

I don't think of myself as any P. Diddy "Rock the Vote" go-and-vote fanatic. But with this election, I really do find myself getting really excited. Excited at the historical nature of the election. Excited that so many people are registering and are voting early and are planning to vote tomorrow. Excited about the prospect of change (with either candidate!). This is such an important, instrumental election for our country.

I can't wait to cast my vote!

Another fantastic weekend

I'm so lucky. I have SUCH amazing people in my life. This, in turn, leads to amazing times spent with those amazing people. Ergo (I LOVE that word!), another fantabulous weekend.

So, Friday was Halloween. Which I love. A lot. I'm always on board whenever there's an excuse to dress up. Mel and I resurrected our Halloween shindig from years gone by and invited a few people over. Much merriment ensued. Graveyard Crunch and Monster Fingers and mice made of pears made for a perfect Halloween menu, and there was a spectacular array of costumes at which to be amused.

After a couple of hours' worth of eating and laughs at our place, the party moved to downtown, where there were people and costumes galore. It's always fun to see your friends dressed up.

Then Saturday, I got a surprise phone call/lunch request from Charles, whom -- other than a brief while at Lee's wedding -- I haven't seen in ages. So, I met Charles and Jen for lunch in Columbia. Was SO good to catch up with them. Then I delivered Lee her wedding photos, since I'd picked them up for her. Then, I decided to call up Jeff and see how he's doing these days. Met up and caught up on the last three years -- okay, not quite that long, but you get the point. After that it was back to the house to watch the Vols get killed.

Not too shabby for one little weekend.

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