Here's to the first cup of coffee

Ugh, there's nothing I hate more than morning eye crusties. On me or on anyone else. Except for maybe ear wax. Blech. Or boogers. Okay, okay, I don't like any hanging, protruding or otherwise obvious morsels of uncleanliness. I'm an advocate of personal hygiene, all right?

Man, there's nothing worse than getting to work thinking you cleaned up well at home and then looking in the mirror for the first time after getting there and realizing you have MAJOR eye crusties or hair going in 10 different directions or lint-covered pants.

Happy Thursday!

To Do List

Wake up.
Make it through another work day. And another work week. And another work month.
Find a job that will make me rich. Or at least rich-er. Even just a little bit.
Find all the answers.
Finish reading the Bible.
Orchestrate a running schedule again. And stick to it.
Don't get fat over Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Make plans.
Don't go crazy. Er.
Get over my fears.
Find and fall in love -- "real, ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love" a la Sex and the City.
Become a better person.

I left my heart in Tennessee

I forgot how much I've missed my home state. I went back to my old stomping grounds for the first time in seven years this weekend. And I realized more than ever, there's just something about the Big Orange State that makes me happy.

I've missed the rolling countryside and the mountains. I've missed the vibrant array of fall colors. I've missed being in Tennessee on game day when any public gathering is a sea of Volunteer orange. I've missed the Tennessee/Alabama rivalry and the "Beat Bama!" signs. I've missed Knoxville and UT's campus, where I spent many a day as a child while both my parents were going back to school. I've missed seeing Neyland Stadium and the Sunsphere and other notable Knoxville buildings. I've missed the accent. I've missed the people.

I've missed the familiarity of it all...

Song Lyrics

I love this song by matchbox twenty.

Last Beautiful Girl

This will all fall down like
everything else that was
This too shall pass
and all of the words we said
We can't take back

Now every fool in town would've left by now
I can't replace all the wasted days
The memory of your face - can't help thinkin'

Maybe if we ever coulda kept it all together
Where would we be
A thousand lost forevers
And the promises you never were giving me
Here's what I'm thinking

It won't be the first - heart that you break
It won't be the last - beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked - won't take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl in the world

Tell me one more time
How you're sorry about the way
This all went down - you needed to find your space

You needed to still be friends
Needed me to
Call you if I ever couldn't keep it all together you'd comfort me
Tell me but forever
And the promises I never should have believed in
Here's what I'm thinking

It won't be the first - heart that you break
It won't be the last - beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked - won't take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl in the world

It's over now - and I've gone without
Cuz you're everybody else's girl
It seems to me - you'll always be
Everyone else's girl
Everyone else's girl

This will all fall down
Like everything in the world
This too must end
And all the words we said
We can't take back

It won't be the first - heart that you break
It won't be the last - beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked - won't take you back
If you were the last...

It won't be the first - heart that you break
It won't be the last - beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked - won't take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl in the world
The last beautiful girl in the world
You are the last beautiful girl in the world
Beautiful girl

Completely Disjointed

Is it too much to ask that I might change the world someday?

I feel powerful in heels and a sweater.

You make me angry when you ignore me.

I have too many thoughts running through my mind in a marathon race against one another at a 100 miles an hour to ever fully make sense of it all. Is that a bad thing?

I used to be famous for procrastination, but I don't think that's so anymore. I hate the nagging feeling of knowing there are things on my never-ending chain of yellow post-it to-do lists waiting to be done.

I live with a constant soundtrack playing itself out in my mind every day. Sometimes when I make faces and don't mean to, it's because of the song at that moment.

Recipe for the day

Plan, plan, plan. Stress.
Write, write, write. Stress.

Talk, think, answer phone, answer e-mail. Go crazy.

Reassuring words

I woke up several days while I was in England with this song in my head. I heard it today on the way to work. There's something so reassuring in the words.

"My chains are gone. I've been set free.
My God, my Savior has ransomed me.
And like a flood, His mercy rains.
Unending love. Amazing grace."

Weekend Summary

It was my first full weekend back in the States, and it reminded of just how lucky I am. I have such terrific people in my life, which leads to terrific time spent with those people.

I spent the first part of the weekend with Mel and her family, celebrating her upcoming nuptuals. I always love visiting her family, as their kindness and zaniness reminds me of my own family.

Then Saturday night, Mel and I -- with Kate in tow as well! -- took part in an annual ritual of going to Scream Acres, our favorite Halloween haunted house and hay ride. What fun, what fun. Nothing beats standing in newly-cool temperatures under an umbrella of a dark, starry night and getting scared by ghosts and goblins!

Some highlights from the weekend:
Eating the flavorful foods at Mel's family's MeatFest party Friday night.
Wandering around downtown Cheraw. And eating mini donuts. Yum.
Dressing up and going to a bridal shower tea party.
Feeling cold for the first time this season.
Realizing the holidays are soon upon us!

Philosophizing

How do you give all you have when you have nothing else to give?

How do you say all the right things when the only things left to say are wrong?

How do you plan for what's to come when plans inevitably fail?

Who's to say what the answers are?

Readjusting

After a four-week whirlwind tour of England, I'm trying to reacclimate to my normal day to day. It's a bit like being a politican out campaigning 24/7 for an entire month and then trying to wind down from the dizziness. It's a strange juxtaposition, four weeks of life in the fast lane in England and then normal work and home life.

After my trip, I now have a newfound appreciation for:
-English accents
-The guards at Buckingham palace
-Scones, topped with clotted cream and jam, of course
-Adding milk to tea
-Rugby
-Rolling countryside, dotted with sheep
-Yorkshire pudding
-Royalty
-Village greens
-Cobblestone streets

Back in the U.S. of A.

After a month in England, I'm back in the States -- glad and sad at the same time! What a whirlwind four weeks it was.